The Mind Expansion Realization
by ChaliceInnana
Summary: Sheldon is feeling blocked with his work. Amy has a plan to get them both on track. They will lock themselves up together and each work on their ground breaking projects for a week. No TV, recreational web browsing... Here comes the smut!
1. Science Week

_I own nothing. Hail Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and their minions at Warners._

**The Mind Expansion Realization**

**Science Week**

Sheldon was sulking in his room. There was a sharp knock on his door. "Sheldon, it's me." Amy called, "May I open the door?"

That was a thoughtful question. So many people would knock and open the door or worse, knock and walk right in. "Yes. And you may come in." The door opened and Amy came in carrying a tray of food. She set it on the bed in front of him and closed the door.

"I brought my food too." She said, "May I sit on the bed?" He nodded and she sat across from him, tucking her feet under her. "I took all the dumplings. Jerks get no dumplings." She sounded angry.

"What if they were right?" Sheldon asked, looking haunted.

Amy hissed, "Sheldon! Listen to yourself." She broke her chopsticks apart, "As if Howard has any insight into the status or validity of your work, as if Rajesh has anything useful or factual to say about the progress of our relationship."

"A broken clock is right twice a day. I am stalled. I feel like you are losing patience with me too…" he sounded close to tears. "You'll leave me."

Rising from the bed, Amy took the tray and put it on the dresser. She considered beating him with a pillow for a moment before sitting back down. Closer than before. "I won't. I promise you, anytime I've said anything like that I have been bluffing, big time."

"What about the physical aspect of our relationship and the fact that it doesn't exist." He said sadly, "And I am not always very nice to you."

"First of all, we do have a physical relationship. It has progressed, a lot. In ways that are huge for both of us. And you've made most of the first moves. So Rajesh can suck it. Secondly, you are very nice to me. You are far nicer to me than you are to anyone else."

"Kind of damning me with faint praise." Sheldon noted. "I would never even know when to apologize without Leonard."

"Who did not make any stupid claims about your work or our relationship, and he knows more about both than either of the other two. We shall save him a dumpling." Amy nodded, then continued glowering, "And damning with faint praise would be, "Wow, Raj, that is nicest sweater vest I've ever seen you wear." And you know what? When you do apologize to me it is amazing! Seriously, amazing. Tiaras and puking on Wil Wheaton's shrubbery while threatening him with your fists? Howard and Raj should take notes."

Sheldon smiled, she was so passionately sincere, "Bring the food back over." Amy smiled back at him and got the tray. "Thank you for depriving them of dumplings."

"My pleasure." She said, arranging the tray between them. "I have to admit, I know how you feel about work. I feel like I never get to analyze my data, I am so bogged down with dissections and experiments. I need to publish. I need a forward push. You know what we need?" She appeared to have had moment of clarity.

"A time machine, a particle collider…"

"A week of science." Amy stopped him. "We just barricade ourselves away from the world and just work for a week. You know, get bunch of food, turn off the phones, the television… and just work." She stared at her chopsticks, "That just sounds like heaven."

"We could still have the internet?" Sheldon asked, starting to warm to the idea.

"Of course. We aren't going to be going to the woods to live like cavemen." Amy scoffed, "And we can only have educational recreation. Like if we need a break from work, we have to learn a new musical instrument or a foreign language." Amy looked thoughtful, "This is what we need to do. Our neural pathways are becoming so set… we need to forge new trails."

"When should we do this?" he asked.

"We could start this Saturday morning. That gives us a few days. We can meet for lunch tomorrow to discuss preparations." She looked excited at the prospect.

For the next few days, Sheldon felt inspired, challenged and energized, as he often did by Amy when she went in to scheme mode. In truth, when he'd felt blocked and frustrated before, the solutions he came up with were frequently counter-productive to put it mildly. Since Amy (aside from Stephen Hawkings) was the only person he knew of the same intellectual capabilities as he (If he could only get her to switch disciplines, he knew they could puzzle out time travel… Also, he'd had a recurring dream of making out with her in Stockholm. That had to mean she was involved with his inevitable Nobel Prize. If he believed in dream interpretation.), it comforted him to know that sometimes she felt blocked as well.

Leonard had been happy as hell to get out of the apartment for a week, electing to surprise a completely delighted Penny with a trip to Maui. So this was working out great for everyone.

For Sheldon and Amy the main focus was getting away from their usual patterns of behavior.

Rule one- No constricting clothing. Acceptable apparel including yoga clothes and various sweatshirt/pants/shorts only. For underwear, Amy's bra choice was the weirdly, supportive comfort bra she had received for her yearly "What are you trying to say, Mother?" Christmas present. And both would be required to wear boxers for underpants. And no shoes, only slippers.

Basically, they were to dress like they were on suicide watch.

Rule two- No recreational activity was allowed that they had already mastered. They resolved to learn Taiwanese as a team, Sheldon would learn to play the Oboe, Amy would learn to play Cello. Amy would teach Sheldon how to make a soufflés and Sheldon would teach Amy the origin stories of Deadpool, Green Arrow and Scott Pilgrim.

No TV, no non-work related web browsing, no gaming, texting or tweeting on their tablets or smart phones. This was where it could get ugly. But since the person they most needed to text and tweet was going to be sitting at her laptop or battling his white board, they hoped they could hold it together.

Rule three- Ask for what is needed and wanted. Help will then be given. This was going to be a shame free zone. Sheldon had specified that physical contact could be requested if needed.

No matter what Amy said, Sheldon remained privately concerned that she was frustrated with him and his pace. If hugs were on the table, it might ease the problem. Although Amy was correct, all physical contact had been initiated by him up to and including spanking. So if he initiated the hugging, then it helped this record of achievement.

The first morning, Amy showed up at 6am. She and Sheldon then drove a giddy Leonard and Penny to the airport, stopped to stock up on food for the week and returned to the apartment by 10am.

Sheldon thought Amy looked fetching in her yoga clothes, which consisted of pants, tank top and a hoodie with no closures. She explained that the road to inner peace was apparently quite stylish. She was staying in Leonard's room. Sheldon had fumigated it and bought new sheets. Sheldon was wearing long sweat shorts and only one tee shirt. He felt far less fetching. He was also wearing boxer shorts, so there was air flow thing happening to which he was unaccustomed . Maybe it would help him think.

They had resolved to start work at 2pm. That would give them time for lunch and a small orgy of web browsing.

At 9:30pm, work ceased and they had their evening sleepy time tea and work progress recap.

Amy started, "I've completed my outline, my thesis and my bibliography…"

"So you didn't write a word?" Sheldon asked shrewdly.

"I also organized my graphs, illustrations and brain scans," she ignored the question.

"Amy…"

"I wrote the thesis and outline!" she snapped. "So I wrote almost 800 words."

"Good job," he smiled condescendingly. "I've been a little more productive. The equation seems to be spawning new equations. This is string theory at its most basic." He shuddered with delight.

Amy beamed, "That's wonderful. Tomorrow night you can present your findings. And I will have written something more substantial."

"That is agreeable… can we watch television?" he asked, trying to seem casual.

"You know that we cannot." Amy gazed at the flat screen with longing. "We must have discipline or else we are the equals of Raj and Howard. Should we start with Taiwanese or would you like to teach me about Deadpool?"

Neither sounded good to him.

"We could make cookies." He suggested, diving into the cupboards.

"We know how to make cookies, Sheldon. That won't blaze any exciting neural trails…" Amy said, when he handed her a bag of chocolate chips. Then she snapped her fingers, "Unless… Let's do Cookie Wars!"

Sheldon frowned, "Is that a part of Star Wars fandom I am unfamiliar with."

"No. It will be like Cupcake wars! We make a list of all the ingredients in the apartment, except for regular cookie ingredients, we include even things like soy sauce and taco chips. Then we draw three out of a hat then we have to create an original cookie recipe using them"

"That sounds exhausting. Physically and mentally." Sheldon said. "Let's do it."

Amy drew high fiber cereal, frozen peas and Worchester sauce, Sheldon drew light beer, dill pickles and oreo cookies. Once the cookies had been conceived, baked, tasted, spit out and thrown away in disgust, the couple judged the day a success and decided to go to bed.


	2. Only You

Usual disclaimers: Bill, Chuck… you guys rock and own everything.

Unusual disclaimer: I know nothing about physics… what follows should make no sense.

**Only You **

The first three days of science week, Sheldon and Amy produced an amazing amount of work, almost without effort. They'd learned Taiwanese vocabulary and had each mastered Twinkle Twinkle on their respective instruments.

It was noon on day 4 when the wormed turned.

Sheldon stared at the side by side white boards that held everything he'd spent the last few days on. Suddenly, he frowned and began erasing the work furiously. Amy grabbed his arm, "Stop." She said softly.

"It's all wrong. It doesn't balance," he said trying to free himself. She pushed him away from the white board.

"That may well be," Amy's voice was stern, but soothing, "But we don't discard things because they are mistakes. We learn from them."

"There is nothing to learn from them," he refused to meet her eyes, "they are just wrong."

"So, let's find the right equations," Amy's first urge had been to protect him from this feeling of despair, but she knew she'd be doing him no favors. She moved to stand in front of him, forcing him to look at her. "Tell me what you are looking for."

"Quantum gravity," he said softly.

"Tell me about that." She replied.

"It is the unification of quantum mechanics with general relativity principles . I am looking for a unifying equation."

"That sounds like a needle in a haystack." She noted sliding the eraser and marker out of his hands, "Let's make the issue smaller."

"you can't." he stated, becoming angry, "It is either sub atomically small or universe sized. It isn't anything in between."

"Perhaps not, but the answer is hiding and you have to find it." Amy said, sternly.

"What if I can't?" he asked, defiantly.

She smiled up at him, "Don't be absurd. It needs to be found, who else could find it but you? Only you." He started to dispute her, but found he couldn't. He needed to find this, he might be the only person who would know where to look.

"It's hard." He stated, knowing it sounded childish.

"Of course it is. The question is huge, the answer is almost unknowable. If it was easy, the answer would be on Wikipedia for everyone to see and we could leave the apartment. Sheldon, the science that you have devoted yourself and your mind to isn't soft and easy. If it has seemed easy in the past, it is probable that you weren't asking the right questions." She folded her arms over her chest, frowning "If this is one problem that truly stumps you, congratulations. You've found your life's work."

He went silent turned and sat down on the sofa, looking thoughtful yet petulant. Amy turned and put the marker and the eraser on the shelf of the white board. She had more to say, and she was sure she would say it to him before the day was out, but now he needed to process her words and consider their meaning. Without asking she went into the kitchen and started making tea.

Sheldon stared at the smudged whiteboard, frowning deeply. He got up off the sofa and cleaned it so it was gleaming white without a trace of the offensive work that had been there before. He considered Amy's words, the idea that the hardest question was to be his life's work. Any thing less was unworthy of him. He had thought these things before, but it was still supposed to be easy for him. His brain was such that he didn't understand why the mysteries of the universe bothered to hide from him. In the distance he heard the kettle blow and the clinking of mugs and tea spoons.

"I made mint tea," She said softly, "do you want it?"

He nodded, not taking his eyes off the blank board. He took the mug from her hand blew on it once and then sipped it. "How do I find the answer?" he asked the air.

"By asking the right questions." She responded, setting her tea on the desk that had been Leonard's and was now hers. She went to the white board, took the marker in her hand and stared at him, "Ask the question?"

Sheldon began to blurt out large seemly unrelated issues. Each time he did, she'd chide him, "Smaller."

When the question was small enough, she'd smile brightly and ask "What is the equation, please?" He would answer her almost without thinking and she would write the equation on the white board and then turn back to him, telling him to ask the question.

This went on for hours. Through dinner, past bedtime, the process was repeated until, at last, 8 equations of varying degrees of complexity gleamed blood red on the whiteboard.

Amy put her marker down, feeling exhilarated by the purity of what she had just experience with her boyfriend. "What do you think?"

Sheldon smiled at her, finally feeling something akin to his old confidence, "It's a start." He paused and without asking he pulled her into an embrace, "Thank you."

She nestled happily against him, deliriously exhausted. "You are welcome." She felt his lips brush the crown of her head as they swayed together for an hour, 10 minutes, all night. Time meant very little.

"So, your my muse." He whispered.

"Ah," she pulled away and smiled, "finally figured that out? You aren't so quick about some things"

"No, not about some things." He kissed her softly on the lips, "But I can always catch up."

_A/N: small interlude from merriment. Amy is the one person who understands his brain. But none of what they are doing is simple, so I believe that the reason for Sheldon's being frustrated in his work this season is because he is getting close. Amy is the one person who can help._


	3. The Morning Fugue

I own nothing, Hail Chuck, Bill and Warner's

**The Morning Fugue**

After the kiss Sheldon had been reluctant to part with Amy so that she could go to sleep. He could see she needed to, that she was exhausted, but he just couldn't let her go. So he did the only thing he could think of, he took her to his own room. She was quite drowsy so she neither protested nor provided saucy commentary. Since they were still clad in their "suicide watch" clothes, he rationalized that he didn't need to get her into her pajamas. He just guided her to what he impulsively decided was to be her side of his bed, and helped her slip between the sheets. He plucked the glasses off her nose and put them on the bedside table next to her head. Within seconds she was fast asleep.

But Sheldon remained wide awake. It was becoming impossible to ignore the facts, he couldn't do this without her. He didn't even want to think about moving forward without her. Not only was she his muse, Amy had been so lovely and patient all week. She had been exactly what he'd needed, whenever he needed her to be it. One moment, she sternly refused to break the rules of Science Week even as he tempted her with trips to the zoo or the Chevron station across the street, then she would distract him with a fun activity of questionable educational value like Cookie Wars, Action Figure Ransom Demand (she kidnapped several of his action figures… then it was like a scavenger hunt.) or What's in Leonard's Box of Shame (Amy found it underneath Leonard's bed.). And last night, she'd guided him out of the wilderness. 3 of the equations he'd given her were almost the same as the ones he reasoned out earlier in the week then abandoned. This confirmed in his mind that he could do this, but that he needed… something. Not approval, not guidance, really. Maybe he just needed someone who knew what to do with him. Like his grandparents had always just known what to do with him.

He wasn't sleepy. He rolled on his side and watched Amy sleep. This wasn't the first time he'd observed her like this. When she had been sick, he'd spent hours watching over her, fretting over her. She wasn't dreaming, which was good. Her dreams could turn dark very quickly, but he'd found he could prevent full terrors by preemptively stroking her hair and whispering that she was safe. She wouldn't talk about what the terrors were and he hadn't pressed her for information. She said they were fewer now. Maybe they would stop when she got used to being safe.

Brushing the hair out her face, he noted that it was more enjoyable to watch her sleep when she wasn't sick. Her skin was rosy not sallow, her breathing was soft and regular, and she wasn't blazing hot yet shivering. Her hair had gotten a bit wild this week, she hadn't been allowed to straighten it, so it was wavy which was pretty, but not as shiny as he liked it to be. He loved the shiny. As he contemplated this, sleep finally took him.

Several hours later, Amy slowly regained consciousness. She felt like she'd been a coma. As her awareness of her surroundings grew, she realized that she wasn't in Leonard's room, cuddled in the vintage Holly Hobbie sheets that Sheldon had procured for her stay. She couldn't see anything, and began blindly grasping for her glasses. The bed moved and an arm wrapped around her and drew her to the center of the bed whispering, "Too early. Sleep."

Oh. She was in Sheldon's bed, being spooned by Sheldon. How did she make that happen? She wondered even as she surrendered to warmth of his embrace. She could hold off sex forever if she could just sleep in his arms, she thought. But since she was awake now, her mind refused to be idle.

Sheldon's work was back on track. Her own? It wasn't all she'd hoped for. She could reason out Sheldon's brain in seconds, but she couldn't tap her own grey matter to save her life. Amy held herself to high standards, she always had. The paper wasn't perfect, the amount of information she was trying to convey staggered her. Perhaps she would discuss it with Sheldon.

After all, this was a shame free zone. Help would be given.

Once they'd both gotten out of bed and prepared for the day, they'd met in the kitchen. Sheldon marveled that Amy hadn't mentioned anything about their first night of bed sharing beyond stating that she had slept soundly and asking him about his rest.

As they ate the breakfast, Amy began to speak about the difficulties she was facing with her work.

"I have so much data. It is just far too much to put in one paper." She fretted.

"So write a book." Sheldon said, evenly, "If you have more to say than you can fit in 30 pages, you need to expand it."

Amy shook her head, "One of the reasons that I need this week was that I don't have time to write even a paper. And it will not get better. The medical school wants me to work with the neurologists and neurosurgical candidates. It would be a department change."

"And that isn't desirable? Sheldon asked, "I thought you enjoyed scaring medical students."

"Who wouldn't? But that is 2 hours a week. It is one class. I might be a victim of my own success. My dissection students have far better outcomes than anyone else's. If they transfer me to the medical school, I am dead in the water." She had been dreading this possibility so much that she'd never spoken it aloud. "I'll be a teacher. No research, at least, not the research that I can do if I stay where I am."

Sheldon frowned, "Will they make you switch? Can they?"

"The answer is that I don't know and yes they can. My full tenure is up for review. It may be tied to making the switch." She sighed and pulled her yoga hoodie more tightly around her body.

"You could always leave." He said.

"And go where?" She asked, smiling without joy.

"Cal Tech." Sheldon smiled with joy, "Siebert talks about you. Apparently, the head of neurobiology has spoken to him about you. You could work there. Arguably the department at Cal Tech is even better regarded than UCLA."

"UCLA has cadavers. Fresh ones."

"I know how you love hacking up fresh brains, but it sounds like if you stay at UCLA that is all you'll be doing. Also, hasn't Bernadette been trying to get you to take a meeting with her boss?"

Amy looked horrified, "Private sector? Why don't you just drop me down on Sunset so I can prostitute myself with integrity?"

"I am not suggesting that you take a job in the private sector. Don't talk crazy. I am suggesting that you make people think that you might consider it." Sheldon replied. The idea of Amy working on the same campus was appealing. "We want to get you full tenure, right away. I don't want you to have to wait 3 years like I did."

"I'll consider it. Let's go back to the book idea. Do you think I should write a teaching textbook or something more specific?" She asked.

"Well, a text book would be more profitable in the long run, but it would tie you to UCLA. However, a full accounting of your findings would gain you the name recognition you deserve. It might even be a popular best seller." Pause, they both started laughing.

"Yeah, because my writing style is so clear to people without Ph.D's." She giggled, "But that is an interesting idea. More than I can do this week."

"All right, spend the rest of the time writing the book proposal. That may prove more productive to your goals in the long run. Also, we should start the ball rolling on scheduling you meetings. Not just with Cal Tech and the science brothel Bernadette works at."

"Every school I'd want to go with besides Cal Tech is either in Northern California or the East Coast." She said.

"Amy, I can work from anywhere. If you had to move, we could work that out." Sheldon said, firmly.

She didn't speak for a moment. Had he just implied that if she moved, he would come with her? She wanted to ask for clarification, but paused.

"Also," he continued, "Perhaps we should look at options outside the United States." He looked at her, "What if we tried for Switzerland?"

"You want to move to Switzerland with me?" Amy asked.

"I would probably move almost anywhere you wanted to work, but I would prefer to move to Geneva. Everything in my field is happening there right now." He said, "The best minds in the world."

"That could solve some problems. I could go on sabbatical to write my book and perhaps Cal Tech could get you a berth at the collider. Then I wouldn't have to decide about the new position, maybe they wouldn't press it." Amy tried to remain logical and not dwell on the fact that what Sheldon seemed to be saying is that not only would move with her, he wanted to move with her.

Sheldon stood up, "You should start on your proposal. I'll clean up."

He heard her retreat to her desk. Well, wasn't he just the chatter box? He thought. The Switzerland idea had been in his head for a while now. Having Amy go with him had been swirling too, but he'd never known how to broach since it would mean taking her from her research. So the very first crack he sees, he just plowed through it. Regardless of the fact that they probably weren't ready to live together, regardless of the fact that moving to another country would cause them to be even more reliant on the other.

But the week had been good. Exceptional, really. He'd neither seen nor spoken to another living soul since Saturday at 9am. Just her. And it had been good. He'd not been annoyed by pointless chatter or inferior minds, he'd even gotten used to the rigid rules of science week. He wasn't sure if Amy had really blazed new neural trails with her activities, but he wouldn't be surprised. And they would find out because she promised him a brain scan at the end of their experiment.

He enjoyed having his brain scanned.

The fact that Amy had not attempted to extend the conversation meant that she was processing it. She would share her opinions and views when she was ready. Hopefully, she would be ready soon. After he finished washing the dishes, he grabbed an apple and placed it beside Amy's laptop, "for a snack, later." She smiled up at him, she looked a little dazed, but he refused to see that as a bad sign.


	4. Unwelcome at Science Week

Usual disclaimers; Rock on, Chuck and Bill, you rich geniuses.

**Unwelcome at Science Week**

Raj and Howard felt badly for how they had acted toward Sheldon the previous week. Or rather Bernadette had shamed them until they were able to fake the level of remorse she deemed appropriate. Also, they knew shutting himself off from the world could a signal that Sheldon might be straying into whack-a-doo territory. Although they'd tried to assure Bernadette (and themselves) that Amy could more than handle whatever weirder that weird breakdown her boyfriend hit her with, that only pissed the tiny microbiologist off further, "Sure." She'd quietly raged, "Leave the woman to clean up your mess."

So in fear they had gathered together a peace offering of Thai food, a selection of new comic books and a type of white wine that Raj had once noticed Amy having 2 glasses of, indicating to him that it must be her favorite.

"Hey!" Howard called, "Why is the door locked." Raj was mute until they could crack the wine bottle.

Inside Amy and Sheldon sprang to their feet, like alarmed prairie dogs. They stared at each other for a moment realizing simultaneous how much they hadn't missed having the boys as company. "It is Science Week." Sheldon said, glaring at the door, "they are not welcome at Science Week." This conclusion was aided by the realization that Amy was for all intents and purposes braless and only wearing only a little tee shirt and yoga pants. He thought she looked very charming. He did not need anyone else in the apartment to form their own opinion on this matter.

"Agreed. How shall we get rid of them?" Amy asked, crossing her arms under her breasts. Yeah, that was what Sheldon didn't want Howard and Raj gawking at.

"Come on!" Howard shouted, "we brought Thai take out and Cakebread Chardonnay! And Sheldon, we bought you a copy of the penultimate issue of the Flash/Gorilla warfare series among others."

"We should let them in." the couple said in unison.

"I mean, it would be rude to just send them away…" Amy really loved the Cakebread wine, but was almost 50 bucks a bottle. Amy was unwilling to pay that for 750 ml of liquid unless it was whale brain stem fluid. Also a hot meal she didn't have to cook herself with Sheldon supervising sounded delightful.

"Wait," Sheldon smirked, walking to the door, "State your reason for coming here."

"We are just trying to apologize for last week." Howard called back. Although they couldn't see him, both Sheldon and Amy thought they could hear Raj squeak and nod in the affirmative.

"Excellent. Leave the bribes in front of the door and then remove yourselves from the premises. All is forgiven." Sheldon ordered, smiling as Amy began silent clapping.

"We can't. Bernadette is being… forceful."

Amy knew what to do. She sat down and began writing on the back of a discarded cover sheet. She finished and then held the page for Sheldon to read. He nodded signed his name next to hers. He leaned down and slid it under the door. "This should release you for all liability. Now leave the goodies and go away."

Howard and Raj scanned the hand written document.

_BMRW. Thank you for your kind concern. Regarding Sheldon's irritation with Raj and Howard, all has been forgiven and the friendship status quo has been restored. Please accept the signatures below as proof that Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler have accepted the offer of peace and are of sound mind and body. We shall see you Saturday evening. Affectionately, AFF._

Nodding, Raj and Howard initialed the document, "So, we'll see you on Saturday. Have fun!" Howard called.

As soon as the men's footsteps were heard descending the stairs, the apartment door opened and the loot was swiftly dragged into the room and the door slammed shut once again.

"Come to me." Amy said to the wine.

"Since you will be drinking alcohol, I should be allowed to read my comics." Sheldon said opening up the bag.

"I propose a compromise, we both drink the wine with dinner and then we both read the comics after dinner." Amy said, seriously.

"This is a break with Science Week protocol," Sheldon noted.

"No. It is actually very much in line with Science week protocol. I shall share with you some wine that I love so that you may understand its properties and now, at long last, you can teach me about the Flash. And explain why he is fighting a gorilla in a helmet?" Amy said glancing at the cover.

"You like gorillas." Sheldon defended.

"I love gorillas. That means I know they aren't much for haberdashery." She laughed going into the kitchen for plates.

"This isn't one of your primates. This is Gorilla Grodd. He is an evil, super intelligent, telepathic gorilla." Sheldon explained, opening the food bags..

"Excellent." She responded, settling down in her spot. "I like knowing who to root for."

Two hours later tipsy, and elated from not thinking about science for two hours. "A superior race of super intelligent gorillas living in a hidden city in Africa is completely possible…" Amy said, defensively, "I never said it wasn't."

"Then what are you trying to suggest?" Sheldon asked, flush with the thrill of battle and white wine.

"Two things… Telekinetic abilities and telepathy are not possible…" she enumerated, "And even if they were, how is the Flash going to stop this evil ape by running fast?"

Sheldon's eyes widened, in shock. "The Flash doesn't merely run fast. His mind is also able to process vast amounts of information in seconds. The speed of the scarlet speedster thought processes makes him almost immune to telepathy."

Amy raised an eye brow, "Fine. Grodd has no made up power over the Flash, but how does the ability to shield your thoughts and to run away rapidly stop an evil gorilla bent on world domination? That wouldn't stop a normal ape from flinging his feces?"

"You'll have to wait for the final issue?" Sheldon said, thinking he was tempting her.

"Ah, so in the next issue this will all make sense?" she laughed, "How alluring." Seeing him look a little dejected, "Here is the thing, these things might be possible, abstractly, but these people are not explaining it with any degree of sophistication. Grodd needs to either be out smarted by a more intelligent being or beaten down by a stronger one. I fail to see the benefit of all this hyper-activity."

Sheldon took a deep breath, then paused, "We will suspend this discussion until the final issue of Gorilla Warfare. Although, I will admit, it is nice to hold this kind of debate with a worthy adversary… It is 8pm."

"Yeah." Amy said, looking at her beckoning laptop, "I suppose we should hunker down for another hour and a half…"

"Or we could watch TV." Sheldon said firmly.

Amy wanted to protest, to refuse, to continue to stake out the intellectual high ground, but suddenly the outside world with all its mindless entertainment options sounded really good. Seeing her waiver, Sheldon tempted, "We could watch HGTV."

"You cannot be that desperate." Amy smirked. HGTV was kind of a special thing between her, Bernadette and Howard's mom.

"Try me." Clearly, he could be that desperate. Amy drew the key from hanging around her neck out of her shirt, Sheldon mirrored her. They paused staring at the keys for a moment and then they raced to open the top locked drawers on their respective desks.

Sheldon pulled out the remote control and Amy recovered the batteries. Before he put them in, he looked at Amy, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Do it." Her eyes blazed in rebellion.

One minute later they were watching the worst show on television, Love it or List it. "If you love super-villains you are going to love the homeowners they find for this show." Amy said enthusiastically.

Twenty minutes later, Sheldon shut off the television. "Those people are awful!"

"So you are turning off the television?" Amy smiled, incredulously.

"I don't have choice. I am not prepared to deal with that kind of thing." He said removing the batteries from the remote control and handing them to Amy, "It made me jumpy."

Amy looked at the batteries in her hand, "So you want to work?" she asked dejectedly.

"God, no." he looked horrified. "No work. Here, I'll put my comic books away, and you can start thinking up a game."

"Put the remote back in lock up." Amy said returning the batteries to her locked desk drawer, "Do it. You know neither of us can be trusted."

"I'd be offended, but that is actually an excellent point."

While Sheldon was filing his comic books, Amy tried to think about a game they could play. All she could think of was, _Tell me what our moving to Geneva together looks like in your brain_.

So when he emerged, she was sitting in her spot, thinking. Sheldon didn't speak, he just went to make tea. She would let him know when she was done.

"I want to talk about Switzerland." She said, clearly. "Do you have a plan for us, or was this just us talking about something vague in the future?"

He felt quite relieved. She was interested. Interested, and asking an excellent question. "Yes, I have a plan, but it isn't complete and I am still unsure of several variables."

"Such as?" She asked, indicating he should sit next to her.

"I don't know for sure if you want to come with me. If you don't, that is the end." He replied. "Do you want to do this with me?"

She nodded and took his hand, "I really want to. For so many reasons. I need to know, are you ready to act on it? How long do you think we'd be gone? What would the living arrangements be?"

"I am not totally ready, but I'd like to act before fall term. I think we should plan on one year to start. I've looked at housing in Geneva, we might be able to afford a 2 bedroom, but a one bedroom makes more sense. So…"

"We'd be sleeping together. Like last night? Or something more?" She asked.

Sheldon suddenly felt like his chest was going to explode. Because he had a couple more conclusions and he hoped she would understand them. "More, probably. One thing that has kept me from bringing this up is that, for us to do this, we should probably be married if we want to do this."

Amy's eyes widened, "Huh?"

"I think if we want to move to a far off land… there are many logical reasons for us…"

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Amy's face was shocked.

"No. I am stating that with our moving to Switzerland together makes logical…" he began speaking rapidly.

"Quit saying the world logical!" she snapped, put her hand over her face and took a cleansing breath, "Do you wish to marry me?"

"I believe so." He said, not looking at her.

It was Sheldon. She decided to take that as a yes. "All right. I'd be amendable to getting married, but we need to talk about marital relations."

"What about them?" he swallowed.

"Will we have them?"

"Yes." His hand started to sweat. "You know I've been working on being more comfortable with contact. I've been having some success…"

"I know." Amy smiled at him. "but, Sheldon, this is a leap. It would put us on a time line. If we marry, I will want to know the fun won't just be theoretical. But I also don't want to push you into anything you aren't ready for."

Once again blessed with low expectations, Sheldon thought, unhappily. "I am not a child."

"Neither am I." She said leaning back, "Which is why I understand this. I never thought I would be feeling what I do for you and wanting these things. A good part of my not pressing for us to go further is… my God, what if you said yes?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, "Amy, look at me. What do you mean?"

Obeying him, she stared into his eyes, "there is a medium chance that our first sexual encounter will involve me locking myself in the bathroom and curling myself into a ball while I hyperventilate into a towel."

"But you aren't afraid of this, are you? You know, of intercourse."

"Yes, I am. I just bury it. Okay. Still a shame-free zone, right? Sheldon, we can't both be freaking out about this equally, it makes it too easy to do nothing. And I do want to be with you. I believe it will be wonderful. I am just not sure… I don't know that I am going to be bringing that much to the table. Sexually." She gnawed on her bottom lip.

"Shame-free zone." He took a breath, "From what I understand, the pressure really won't be on you the first time we engage in intercourse. You'll just have to be nice and patient, which you always are. I am the one who has to put things… in places…"

Suddenly she giggled, "Put things… in places?" he rolled his eyes, "I am not making fun of you. I promise. I am just so happy that you are my guy." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I think we've done really well this week. I've been really happy being here with just you."

Sheldon put his arms around her and gave her a hug, "It has been good. Being able to discuss things… and it's helped. I think when the week is done, we'll have made the progress we need to. I have one problem…"

She snuggled closer, pleased that the usual rigid tension of his hugs seemed to be gone, "What problem?"

"I want us to stay here." He laughed.

Amy pulled back, grinning, "Can't. If we become hermits science loses."

"You forget the breakthroughs made by recluses living in caves."

"Everyone forgets those, Sheldon, because nobody knows about them. Whenever they achieve greatness, they can't tell anyone because they have to go out into the desert and forage for bark to eat."

"Sometimes they eat roots and thistles." Sheldon said, sighing, "Fine. We have to rejoin the world. But maybe you don't have to go home."

Amy didn't actually know what to say to that, "Maybe. But let's not decide yet. You have to consider Leonard. There is a 60% chance I am going to spend Saturday night drinking wine and listening to Penny bitch about Leonard's very minor and sometimes non-existent faults."

"That's true. They are spending a week in a sweaty former leper colony. There isn't that much that could go right." He agreed. "That works out. While he is ranting and raving about how he can't please her, I'll be able to access the internet!"

"Shall we recap the day?" Amy asked. It was protocol.

"Well, we slept in the same bed, you told me about issues that you were having at work. We decided you should write a book proposal. I suggested we should move to Geneva. I worked on balancing equation 3 while you began writing the proposal. Then Raj and Howard brought us food and fun. You agreed to read the next issue of Flash. Then we tried to watch TV, but our only option was Love it or List it so we didn't. Then we discussed Geneva again, I quasi-proposed to you, you quasi-accepted. We talked about our mutual lack of sexual prowess…"

"Our theoretical lack of sexual prowess. We might surprise ourselves."

"Good lord, I hope so. And then we decided not to become hermits and agreed to wait to discuss kicking Leonard out. Do you concur with my recap?"

"I do." She stood up and offered him her hand to get up, "Let's call it a night."

He took her hand and when she moved to go to bed, "Will you stay with me again?"

Amy smiled and nodded.

_A/N: I am not promising smut, but they aren't just going to sleep…_


	5. The Obscene Teepee Word Problem

Usual disclaimers. Love Bill, Chuck and whoever signed off on the line "it's possible."

**The Obscene Teepee Word Problem**

Neither was sleeping. Yet both were pretending to sleep though, which was characteristically thoughtful and in harmony with the bliss that was Science week.

Lying in Sheldon's bed for the second night, Amy felt a wild combination of elation, shock and mild panic. Perhaps if she went to the bathroom and hyperventilated into a wet towel now she might not have to do it when they finally made love. Because it wasn't an if, now it was a when. At some point in the near future she was going to have an actual sex life. With Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper!

If she had been alone in her own bed she'd have gleefully shrieked and then punched the shit out of her pillow. But she was not alone. Her boyfriend/future lover/husband (holy God, where in her brain was she going to file that yummy little tidbit?) lay bedside her, pretending to sleep. So little Miss Amy was going to restrain herself, she decided.

She began to frantically search her mind for any details on Kolinhr she might have picked up since meeting and falling in love with her tall, sexy, waxy, lanky Texan.

Sheldon was experiencing something different. He would have expected to feel dread or shame, but instead he felt… good? Was this what feeling good, really good, felt like?

Also he felt… full of urges.

Was that all it took to arouse him? For his girlfriend to almost agree to marry him and while admitting that while she desired sexual intercourse, she was dreading it too? Despite her deliciously saucy way of talking at times, she didn't really know much more than he did. She actually seemed to know less in that she thought that he would expect her to know how to do unspecified things with any level of skill. He didn't expect anything fancy, and he felt pleased beyond words that she would not be expecting him to perform any extraordinarily tricky maneuvers when the time came. Ideally, they could raise the difficulty level together and as needed and desired.

So maybe the time could come sooner. Maybe much sooner. Much, much, much sooner.

And as he formed this thought he turned his head so he could gaze at her. She was illuminated by the Bat Signal night light. That was then that the blood left his brain, headed south and everything located below his waist hollered "Giddy up, cowboy!"

Good lord! He was tenting the stupid sheets! He turned swiftly on his side to lessen the obscene teepee effect. And now he was staring at Amy's braless torso in her sleep tank top. According to her nipples, she might be chilly. So… the erection wasn't going anywhere.

Amy felt the bed move. Peeking out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Sheldon was facing her. His eyes might be open, but she wouldn't swear to that. The only reason that she even knew it was him was that she could smell talc and he was the dude she'd went to bed with. This thought made her giggle.

"What?" Sheldon whispered.

"I was watching you out of the corner of my eye. And you are really blurry. I realized if it wasn't for the scent of talc, I probably couldn't identify you." She whispered back.

"Well, you did go to bed with me. That should count as some sort of clue." Impulsively he stroked her bare arm. Her skin was smooth and warm.

"That bit of info helped a lot." She shivered at the contact, "there also aren't a myriad of other possible bedmates."

"I should hope not!" he said, continuing to caress her arm. He moved as close to her as he could without poking her in the hip with his pants business. But at that moment Amy chose to roll onto her side and… she effectively poked herself with it.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she thought, _is that what I think it is_? Before she could vocalize this thought Sheldon flopped onto his back, in a frenzied panic, panting. This made the blankets tent in a very interesting way…

Frenzied, that pretty much summed up Sheldon's reaction to Amy's rolling onto his erect penis. When he went onto his back… The pervert teepee had returned. He peeked at her. Maybe she hadn't noticed the obscene blanket show. But when he saw the stunned look on her face, he knew she had. Somewhere in the back of his mind one phrased drowned out various parts of his psyche that were loudly praying for death or at least a do over.

Shame-free zone.

"Should we discuss… this?" he finally said. She could vaguely make out him gesturing to his nether regions.

The effect of cock under blanket was towering. Amy was fascinated and a little terrified by the height of the penis tent. She scooted over and put her head on his shoulder. "I am sorry I rolled onto your penis." She said, softly.

"That's okay. It probably shouldn't have been on your side of the bed." He turned his head, thankful that he couldn't see her face.

"It's your bed." She stated, "it is probably used to having the extra real estate…" What was fascinating her at the moment was the erection's refusal to abate.

What was mortifying Sheldon beyond belief was the erection's refusal to abate. The standard practice of erection depleting involved thinking about the periodic table. This would not help because Amy had created a game out of using the periodic table to compose haikus. And because it was now related to Amy, it had become sexy. Also, he was aware of the reptile portion of his brain chanting, "_Ask her to touch it. Ask her to touch it. Ask her to touch it. We like Amy. We like Amy. We like Amy!"_

"I suppose that I am quite embarrassed goes without saying." He said.

"You don't have to be. I don't want you to be," She raised up on her elbow to gaze at his face in the dim light of the bat signal. She paused, "So. Do you want me to give you a hand with that?" She bit her lip. Well, that was blunt. Sexy talk might not be her thing.

Without thinking Sheldon replied, "Yes, please." He sounded like a two year old who desired a cookie. The only saving grace is that he hadn't called her ma'am.

Also without thinking Amy replied, "Okay." Her mouth remained open, "let's do this!"

"We should kiss first, right?" Sheldon asked. "I can stay on my back so I don't… poke you again." He turned his head away.

Amy turned it back and kissed him gently on lips, "No shame zone." She whispered, "Also, I'd like to activate the cone of honesty." A little known codicil of the Relationship Agreement, it prevented either from saying anything untrue to avoid unpleasantness. It was strictly the honor code, but then so much in life seemed to be.

"Good lord, why?"

"Because, I don't know what I am doing and if I am doing it wrong I need to know it. I will also need guidance on how to correct myself." Amy replied, her breath coming faster and with irregularity.

"Fine. But if you don't like doing it or if you are scared, you have to tell me. I know you, you'll just suck it up." Sheldon said.

Amy started giggling, "I said nothing about sucking it up, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Oh, well the night is young. Do you need to see what you are doing?"

"The lighting is appropriate, but I would like to take off the blanket and your undergarments. I know you. You are going to make me help with the laundry on this if it gets messy."

He almost laughed because she was so sweet and seemed to have no idea about how much like a volcano the orgasm of the human male was. It would be messy. Instead he raised his hips and divested himself of his gym and boxer shorts tossing them recklessly off his side of the bed.

Which was the sexiest thing Amy had EVER seen. Ever. The ball was in her court. Or the balls, as the case may be.

Leaning down she kissed him, feeling his tongue part her lips for the first time in 8 kisses they'd shared. She kissed him back, purring in delight. Emboldened, she sat up and pulled the blanket off of him. And she saw it. He had described it as esthetically pleasing. He hadn't been exaggerating.

"Wow. That is really nice!" she smiled, before realizing she sounded like she was talking about her cousin's decidedly less impressive 1981 Mustang. She hung her head, "I am going to do this wrong."

Sheldon hugged her and whispered, "Unless you decide to smack it with the model rocket on your bedside table, you will do fine."

"Why did you say that?!" she squinted over her shoulder at the red rocket, distressed, "Now I am going to have concentrate on not doing that… What if I go crazy?"

"Good, Lord. You are already crazy as a chicken," he nodded, "I am not teasing. I am just so happy you are my girl. Amy," he hissed, "I will literally die if you don't make your move soon. Here… Give me your hand. We'll do this together." She gave him her hand and he pulled her down so her head was back on his shoulder. Pulling her hand downward, he whispered, "here we go."

If either had to describe the first touch of her hand to his naughty bits, the description would have included the words informative and electric. For him, although touch had always been hard for him, something so delicious and complex… he had to believe the possibility of Amy related stimulation becoming a regular thing… He could put a lot of his own mental illnesses in the corner for this. He'd heard Howard and Raj speak of making their hands fall asleep so it would feel like a stranger was touching their genitals. Now Sheldon knew, a soft, gentle, loving hand that wasn't attached to your own wrist… oh, lord, that was definitely the way to go.

For her, she had never imagined that the male organ would be so mysterious to her, not with her years of training in the pure science of biology. His skin was soft as velvet or silk… and so warm, yet the erect member might have been sculpted out of… well, the term boner now made perfect sense to her. Happily instead of saying something that weird, she just purred in delight. As she let him guide her pace and the pressure of her hand… she learned, she discovered. Apparently, boys liked to be gripped firmly and worked with fast, purposeful strokes. Which was odd, since when she stimulated her lady button, she liked it soft, slow and gentle… languid. Oh goodness… she was going to need to tend to her lady button… soon. Cuddling his leg between her thighs she began to rub herself against him, the warmth of his bare muscles… Wow. That was nice! Maybe he wouldn't notice her wantonness.

Sheldon noticed.

As his Amy moved her hips in small, rhythmic circles against his leg, the heat, the motion, the softness of her yoga pants… She was exquisite. Perhaps a complement would be in order, "Oh, Amy. My sweet, darlin'… good… good girl… darlin', good girl."

Darlin'? She thought, raising her eyes to his face. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open. He wore a mask of arousal and delight. Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed him, gasping softly as his free hand threaded through her wavy hair, holding her head so he could devour her sweet lips.

"Don't stop." He hissed into her mouth. "Fast. Hard. Please. So close…." Grasping her delicate wrist, the guided her hand to take him where he needed to be. To the top of this cliff of delirious pleasure, with the trusting hope that she would push him off… to his, what the French called, the little death.

Fuck the French. He was from Texas. This was going to be a gusher. "I am sorry, Amy, darlin', this is going to be so messy… I love you… I am sorry." He groaned.

Since impulsive and naughty seemed to be her words of the day… Amy sat up, grinned, leaned down and took the head of his cock into her mouth as she continued to stroke him, hard and fast. The blood flowing through his cock, made her lips tingle with delight. He let out a strangled cry as his hips jerked upwards, as his cock erupted. She concentrated on swallowing every drop, with an eye to both his pleasure and his love of tidiness. All she desired was for this to be what he wanted… to be… good.

The warm wetness of her sweet mouth and her clever tongue… Clearly sex was heaven. His hand gripped the back of his beloved's neck, feeling the swan-like muscles of her throat contracting as they drained him and devoured the evidence. When she was done, she sat up and faced him, her lust darkened eyes blazing like flames in the dim light of the Bat signal as she drew the back of her hand over her lips. Then she grinned. So sexy.

Amy was a goddess. His goddess.

Her thoughts were similar, how could her cerebral, sweet, childlike Sheldon possess such a powerful regenerative organ and the will to use it? Clearly, he was homo novus. And clearly that was a good, good thing to be.

As she fell against his chest, panting, "that was amazing." She whispered, kissing his throat, mindful of where her mouth had just been.

"We don't have to worry." He sighed

"About what?" She raised her head to gaze at his relaxed face.

"About timelines. We are moving to Geneva this fall. It is going to be perfect."

_A/N: Delivering the smut is getting harder. I've gone from some sex, to full sex, to no sex and back to some sex. Since Sheldon is working on his touch issues (Squee!) I settled on a nice hand job/blow job finish. Sorry Smut hounds… back to science!_


	6. The Naughty Bits Fun-time Reciprocity

I own nothing. Long live Bill and Chuck (Charlie Sheen can suck it, Chuck. You rule!)

_A/N I am trying to keep them in character, but damn… if you keep them in character they keeping wanting to stop and make tea and then not talk about it! _

**The Naughty Bits Fun-time Reciprocity Blocker**

Once Sheldon had over-heard Howard explain something called a post-coital coma. When he'd heard the little engineer speak of it, the act of passing out directly after orgasm, it had struck him as being very poor manners.

So apparently Sheldon had very poor manners, because as soon as the word "perfect" left his lips, he fell deeply asleep.

It didn't occur to Amy to mind, at first, even though the last thing she felt was sleepy. She felt hyper alert. Like she wanted to get out bed and bake, or iron something… or call Penny and Bernadette…

She wanted to call Penny and Bernadette! They would completely freak out. That would be the 17th best outcome of the week. This week. The best week ever.

She couldn't call the girls. Sheldon had the cell phones, she had the batteries and chargers. Damn her thorough nature! She also couldn't access her email because to login to the wifi she and Sheldon each had to type in a portion of the password… Today was Thursday or almost Thursday, she'd see them on Saturday. Maybe she'd have more to tell.

More to tell then the magical tale of her first hand job!

Ew. Well, that didn't sound right, but still, it had been magic. She and Sheldon were both vulnerable, neurotic perfectionists. But when it was just the two of them, they felt safe, sheltered. The kind of atmosphere that inspired the sort of team work that had led to their beautiful, loving, weird first sexual experience. Smiling she rolled onto her side to gaze at him, so close that he wasn't even blurry. His mouth was open, one arm was flung over his eyes and he was snoring softly. Much different the fairy princess pose, he usually adopted. Poor thing was exhausted. She'd seen this kind of behavior in other primates. So… she wasn't mad.

Just edgy. And hornier than she'd ever been in her life. Her choices were running to the bathroom and taking care of lady business, waiting for Sheldon to wake up to assist her with lady business or just waking him up to participate because, damn, he'd been asleep for almost an hour. Any self-respecting howler monkey would be awake and flinging his poo around with gleeful gusto!

In the end, she slunk out of bed and headed into the bathroom to shower for tension relief.

Sheldon woke up a few moments later. Smiling, he turned on his side, hoping to find a warm bodied and responsive Amy to roll around on the bed with. She wasn't there.

His Vulcan hearing enabled him to know that the shower was running. Amy was in the shower.

Oh, boy, he thought guiltily. She was taking care of the things that he should have taken care of before passing out like a sated pole cat. No wonder Leonard stressed extensive foreplay so much. It wasn't' that the coitus wouldn't be delightful without it, it was so he could sleep afterward knowing his partner's release had been taken care of. That was very logical and considerate of him.

Swiftly, he got out of bed, freezing in his tracks as he realized that he was wearing neither pants nor underpants. He was just wearing a tee shirt… Naked from the waist down wearing only a tee shirt. He didn't look in the mirror, but instinct told him that was not a sexy look. He pulled the tee shirt over his head and grabbed his robe and went across the hall to the bathroom.

He could hear the shower running through the door. He knocked softly, calling her name even more softly. When she didn't answer, he opened the door to go in. Once inside he loudly called, "Amy!"

Hearing her name, she stopped what she was doing. "Yes?" she called back grimacing. She hadn't been that close, but still if she stopped before finishing, chances are she wouldn't be able to get back in the zone for like 3 hours... So while she hadn't been mad before, now she was irritated.

Sheldon paused. How to phrase this question… "Everything okay in there?" he asked, then clarified, "Do you need a hand with anything?"

She bit her lip to keep from giggling. That sounded just as bad coming from him as it had from her. She could hear the wince in his voice, "No." she sighed, turning off the water, "I am coming out, will you hand me a towel?"

"Sure," he grabbed a towel, then paused to open it fully, "Come out."

When she peeked out of the curtain she saw a blurry vision of him standing with the towel open to receive her. Just like when he gave her the bath that time. Swoon. Well, well, well… maybe she could get back in the zone a bit sooner.

With a deep breath, she boldly stepped out of the tub and allowed him to wrap her in the towel. She smiled up at him. He was even more handsome when he wasn't blurry as hell.

His reaction to her nakedness, was immediate and noticeable. He found himself embracing the no-shame zone as he hugged her close, and kissed her forehead. "I am sorry I fell asleep."

Amy happily snuggled closer, "it is a natural physiological response."

"Yes, but that is why ladies should always come first."

"Pun intended?" She smiled up at him.

"No. I had no idea how that would sound until I heard myself say it." He said, whirling her so her back was to him and walking her out the bathroom door.

"We seem to be excelling at not clearly expressing our sexy thoughts." Amy noted. Sheldon was propelling her forward. She was walking, but the way he was holding her, it was more like a reversed piggy back ride. She began to giggle.

Encouraged by how happy she sounded, Sheldon lifted her off her feet and carried her the rest of the way to the bedroom. He should carry her around more. She liked it, obviously, she didn't weigh anything and he alone in his group had the size advantage on his lady to be able to lift her without risking injury to either of them. It struck him as an easy way to establish Alpha male status, in a mildly brutish way, "This is my girl, she doesn't need to walk everywhere, I got that covered." unbidden the vision of Howard falling face first onto the floor when the itty bitty Bernadette tried a surprise rear mount for a piggy back ride.

He set her down by the bed, "Get in, please."

She blushed, "I don't have sleep clothes…"

"We won't be sleeping for a while." Sheldon said, bluntly. Maybe that was going to be the key for him, avoiding attempts at pretty talk in favor of being blunt. He gently unwrapped the towel and guided her into the bed, noting that blushing for Amy was a full body experience. Deciding not to waste time he slipped in behind her. Pulling her to lie under him, he began to kiss her. Open mouthed, tongue, everything he'd never wanted to do for sanitary reasons. His feelings for Amy transcended those issues. As far as he was concerned, she was germ free.

Amy was swimming in bliss. She was naked, in bed, being pinned to the bed by her boyfriend who suddenly knew how to and wanted to kiss her. And he was poking her again. Suddenly her eyes opened, did he want to make love? Instead of asking she reached between them and opened his robe…

In the distance there was a banging. On the door of the apartment. Like a crazy person would do.

Sitting up, Amy whispered, "It is Bernadette." Her eyes were wide, "That is her angry knock." She slid the robe off Sheldon's shoulders, got out of bed and put it on. "I have to answer it."

Sheldon looked shocked, "Why?"

"Because, girl code, because if I don't answer, she has the key to Penny's apartment, the key to this apartment is right there in the bowl. The woman has no boundaries… and angry equals crazy." Amy enumerated, but she felt like weeping in frustration. "I'll make her go away."

Muttering under her breath, Amy flung the door open, "What?" she hissed.

Bernadette pushed passed her, fuming, "I am leaving that little bastard!" She stopped by the sofa, faced Amy, threw herself into the other woman's arms and began weeping. "What I am I going to do?"

Torn between friendship and getting Sheldon back on top of her in a timely manner, "You aren't leaving Howard. You should go home and talk to him." Amy considered that a compromise that would benefit everybody and wouldn't mean she was a shit friend.

"He was awful!" Bernadette snarled. Sitting down on the sofa. "he is awful! Awful! Awful!"

Sheldon emerged from the bedroom clad in his suicide gear, glowering at the tiny biologist weeping on the sofa. "Hello, Bernadette. You seem to be in distress, would you like some tea?" He asked, tersely. She was their friend, even if he hated her beyond measure at this point, there were social conventions. He gestured for Amy to join him, "I called Howard on the landline, he won't come to get her," he glanced angrily over his shoulder. "He says it is her fault."

Amy nodded, "And since she is the one on your sofa, you automatically agree?"

"Yes."

"Seconded." Amy whispered, "I need you to go wait for me in the bedroom I am getting rid of her."

"Warning, I am going to be naked. We are doing this." He growled.

"Now she's leaving if I have to throw her out by her hair." She kissed him and shooed him back down the hall.

Amy grabbed a light beer from out of the fridge and opened it. Sitting on the coffee table in front of Bernadette, she handed it to her. "You can't stay here."

"I am not going home," she was crying. "Please let me stay here. I won't ruin science week. I just can't go home to my parents…"

"Bernadette, Sheldon and I were just about to have sex." Amy whispered, grabbing her free hand.

"No you weren't." Bernadette dismissed her, then seeing the stricken look on her friend's face and noticing fact that she was pretty obviously naked under a robe that was cut for someone a foot taller than her. "You were about to have sex?" she hissed. Looking toward the back of the apartment, "Does Sheldon know?" Her eyes were wide. "Dumb question. Don't answer that." Bernadette gave Amy back the beer, "Why don't I just go home?" She stood, smiling sheepishly.

Amy nodded, "Yeah. You do that."

"Tomorrow after work, I am coming back here and you are telling me every last goddamn detail. Science week or no science week." Bernadette's eyes filled with tears, "I am so happy for you." She threw herself back into Amy's arms and kissed her cheek. Opening the door, she whispered, "Go ride that cowboy."

_A/N: Okay, the sex is coming. The characters weren't doing what I wanted them to do, so Bernadette came to punish them. Bernadette is my enforcer._


	7. Community College Style

Usual disclaimers. Chuck, Bill… worship.

_A/N I drank some Valerian Tea. So that's where the typos come from._

**Community College Style**

Sheldon was waiting under the blankets when Amy returned from shooing Bernadette off. And from the looks of things he was as naked as he'd promised. He looked over her head as if scanning the hallway, "Did she go?"

Amy chuckled, scooting on the bed to sit next to him, "She went and she went quietly." She kissed his cheek.

"How'd you do that? Is there a trick to getting weeping people out of your apartment?"

"I told her the truth. That she interrupted us and that while she didn't need to go home, she could not, in fact, stay here." Amy ran her hand over his bare arm.

He frowned, "She's going to tell Howard. Then everyone will know." There was going to be some mocking.

Amy decided to start the mocking early, "You're right. I'll call her back to swear her to secrecy. You'd like to see her back in the apartment, right now?" with an evil little smile she slipped off the bed. Before she got her second foot to the floor, she was hauled backward and under the covers. "oh, not on board with bringing back Berna…" before she could finish, she was being pinned to the bed and kissed aggressively.

"No more silliness," he whispered into her mouth.

"Whatever you say, Dr. Cooper." She smiled, snaking her arms around his neck.

He pulled back for a second, smiling shyly, "Why don't we save the academic titles for specific occasions. Not to undersell myself, but I don't know if this is going to be doctorial level experience."

Pulling him closer, she whispered, "Okay, baby, do me like we are in community college." She grinned evilly.

His head dropped to her shoulder, he sighed, looked up and returned the evil look, "Girl, I am going to do you like we both have associate degrees in art history. I am going to attempt to untie your robe, I may not have the motor skills." Grabbing the back of her head, he kissed her deeply, as he successfully opened her robe, and slipped it off her body.

Now everybody was naked. At the same time. Sheldon was stunned at how weird it was not. Smooth, warm arms and legs wrapped around him, sweet breath in his ear, a lovely face to kiss and watch… And her torso was full of interesting places he might want to put his mouth on. By the time last thought formed in his head, he was relieved he had just stuck to adoring her neck. Judging by the Hooing, he was on the right track.

He was on the right track, Amy threw her head back and moaned a bunch of intelligible words that all seemed to mean good and/or don't stop. She could feel his erection brushing dangerously close to the place where she desperately wanted it. Impulsively she reached between them and grasped him in her hand, the way he'd showed her earlier. He hissed and bit down on her neck in surprise. "Amy, wait. I want… you need to finish before we do that…"

"I don't want to wait." She pouted, "I am so ready." She guided the tip to her entrance, so he could feel how hot and wet she was.

"Condoms!" he gasped. "Condoms."

"No. We don't need them. I am on the pill." She purred in delight as he began to buck against her hand, "Penny took me to planned parenthood on February 2nd. Said it was good luck to start the pill on Groundhog's Day. It was weird, she keep yammering about possibilities."

"She's a yammerer." Sheldon recognized the timing and resolved to never lock Penny out of WiFi again. Suddenly a coital to do list flashed through his brain, everybody's ready, contraceptives take care of… he was missing something… He better think of it quick because his cock was about to go someplace beautiful…

"Wait, I have to tell you," he panted, "I love you."

Amy's hand stopped moving, she smiled up at him, "I know you do. I love you too."

He leaned down and kissed her very softly, "There's only ever going to be you," he whispered moving into position. He felt her body tense as he wrapped her arms tightly round his neck, bracing herself for the first thrust. "It's okay. Just bite me hard when it happens."

She didn't have time, before she had time to chose a spot to bite down on, he had broken through her virginity and he filled her. It had sort of hurt, but the amount of Oxytocin racing around her blood stream meant if it wasn't amazing she wasn't going to be feeling it.

And it was amazing. Sheldon loved her. He'd said it. And now they were having sex like community college people, or something… her brain was definitely not capable of calling the shots right now.

Her lover was holding still trying to both let her adjust to his size and to calm himself, because being inside her soft, wet warmth was… soft, wet and warm. Shaking his head, trying to get the stupid out, he felt Amy began to move against him, over him, around him. "Eager?" he grinned and he began to set the pace.

"Yes," Amy panted, trying to keep up. He was stronger than her. Virile. To be held down and taken, it felt very good. She wanted to help, with a loud hiss, she did the one thing she could think of, she grabbed him by the ears and pulled him down so she could kiss him and run her hands over his shoulders and down his smooth back.

The combination of the kiss and being inside her almost made him spill. But he held back. He needed to please her, the way she had pleased him after bedtime. The memory of her clever fingers, her sweet tongue… He had an idea. He pulled away from the kiss and grabbed her right hand, he guided her fingers inside her mouth, "I want you to show me how to make you come." He whispered harshly, pulling her hand between them so she could touch herself. His own hand lingered on top of hers, noting her gentleness of the pressure she used and delighting as she began to go faster and faster, he adopted that pace within her. Soon she began to keen and claw at the sheets, her insides milking him as she came when he told her to. With a relieved shout, he followed a couple of minutes later.

Collapsing together, covered by a sweat soaked sheet, content yet incredibly sticky, they lay trying to catch their breath. "Wow." He gasped, "how did it go that well? I mean, isn't the first time supposed be awkwardly awful?"

Amy nodded, not quite having use of her complete vocabulary, "I know… I thought because you are sooo…you know… you have tower penis… that it would hurt. But even that felt so good. God, I sound stupid."

"No you don't, you sound addled." He assured her, "I'll take it as a compliment." He finally rolled away from her, "I feel amazing," he smiled.

She rolled on her side so she could cuddle against him, "I love you." She said softly. When he didn't respond, she then heard him snoring softly. Yawning, she faded too.

_A/N: Yes. Penny took Amy birth control shopping as soon as she stopped spazzing out._


	8. The Gift of Decontamination

Usual disclaimers relating to Chuck and Bill. Also, whoever wrote Amy's outgoing message last night… You are amazing!

**The Gift of Decontamination**

Amy Farrah Fowler was a very intelligent woman. No… Amy Farrah Fowler was a super genius. Her field was isolating and identifying thought patterns that led to action and reaction. She understood her boyfriend's mind, and finding it miraculous and alluring. It also gave her insight on how to care for him.

While he was in his sex coma, she began to gather the tools to stave of the epic freak out that was probably brewing. She put his clothes for the day in the bathroom, put the clean sheets on the chair next to the bed, along with the robe from the night before and a Thurston Howell the III eye mask. In case he needed to have his eyes covered like a falcon. She had red medical waste bags to hold the laundry until she could wash it scalding hot water.

Once all was in place, she cleaned herself up, thinking that her appearing fresh would be more soothing for him than seeing with insane sex hair, the lower part of her body covered in various dried fluids and some mild incidental coital injuries. Because it turned out her cuddles was a bit of a biter. The cleanup was quick and easy. Hiding the fact that she was walking like John Wayne to avoid her thighs touching… that might be more difficult.

She finished with everything to find him still asleep. As she was dressed for the day, she didn't want to get back under the sheets. Sex was wonderful, but messy. Very messy. For both their peace of mind, she would suggest an intercourse codicil to the relationship agreement. Contrary to what her friends and society thought, Amy loved the relationship agreement. It was a living document that reflected the exact state of their romance at any given time.

Pulling the Enterprise comforter over her sleeping lover, she curled up on top of it, figuring as long as she wasn't in the sheets, she wouldn't get re-contaminated. She settled in beside him, watching him sleep, until she drifted off as well.

Sheldon awoke to a sensation like he'd not felt since he was 15. Stickiness. Shameful stickiness. Followed by the realization that he had again passed out with minutes of ejaculating like a burro. He kept his eyes closed, he knew what ever was covering the lower half of his body, was mostly his fault. While Amy was now to be considered germ free, he was not. He shivered in distress.

Amy felt the slight tremor on the bed and awoke to see her man with his face screwed up in a grimace and his hands clutching the sheets.

Thank goodness, this was the best case scenario!

Slowly, she got up from the bed walked around and sat by his side, "it is okay."

"It's not." He choked back.

She gently kissed his forehead, "It is. I love you. I promise I'll make everything clean."

Clean. That was the magic word. "Okay." He whispered his eyes still clenched tight.

"First, I want you to promise to trust me and to do as I ask of you." She ran a gentle hand over his forehead, as she placed the sleep mask over his eyes. "I am going to keep your eyes covered until you are completely clean. We were messy last night." He could hear the sweet smile in her voice. "Now, please sit up slowly, and when you are ready, swing your legs out of bed." He obeyed her. "Good. I am putting my hand in yours, please stand up." When he complied she helped him put the bathrobe on, telling him it was the one from last night. She placed both his hands on her forearm and guided him to the bathroom.

Sheldon felt overcome with gratitude as her gentle understanding soothed him. "I love you, Amy."

"Oh, you don't even know how much yet." She laughed, softly. He heard the water start and felt her untie the sash of the robe, then walk behind him to take it off. Everything action was measured, confident, kind. "Now I am going to help you get into the shower. I want you to wet your body, then I will wash the… I will wash the…." she paused to find the right word. "the evidence away."

The sight of him, naked and wet was enticing, but groping him wasn't going to happen. Instead, she soaped her hands and began to gently was away the residual signs of virginal love making. Including her blood. He was purring with a delight that wasn't sexual. When she was finished, she whispered, "Take off the eye mask."

He did as ordered, seeing her for the first time since he'd jostled her sexy parts. Her hair was brushed, her eyes bright, she was clad in her miraculously dry suicide clothes. He handed her the mask, "Should I finish on my own?"

"Yes. I am going to attend the sheets and then we can make breakfast. "Then we can write the intercourse codicil to the relationship agreement." Before she could say more, she left the room, leaving him stunned. He'd thought that the lawlessness of science week might make her wish to toss the agreement. That meant he was right and his friends were wrong. It helped to put responsibilities and expectations on paper. And Amy liked it almost as much as he needed it.

As he finished his shower, he felt surer than ever about moving forward with Switzerland idea and everything that would go with that.

_A/N It's short. But I believe that Sheldon will need this after his first time. _


	9. The Skype Intrusion

Disclaimers: Chuck and Bill and Warners… cash the checks you deserve them.

**The Skype Intrusion**

The day progressed. Surprisingly, everyone who lost their virginities the night before was handling the morning and day after without undue guilt or awkwardness. They'd enjoyed a cheerful breakfast of crepes, which Sheldon had never had, but since apparently this was his week to be a weirdo, he found yummy. He began to mentally scroll through his breakfast schedule for an item to eject. They had agreed to refrain from amending the relationship agreement until Science week was over.

Because Science Week was drawing to a close, while much had been accomplished, there was more to do. Had Amy not been so obviously sore and moving a bit slowly, Sheldon would have requested sexy naptime. Every time she sat down at her desk, she winced a bit. This struck him as completely unfair. He felt amazing, he got through a huge amount of work in a short period of time, but his wonderful lady was moving like she'd just had a vasectomy (when he was 5… his father… long, explicit and hideous story).

He needn't have worried. Although her inner thigh muscles ached more than the time Penny took her to Xtreme Yoga, although whatever was going on in her lady parts was not nearly as much fun as what caused the problem, she was floating on a cloud of bliss. She wished she was sitting on a cloud of bliss… cuz damn. Ow. But Sheldon was making sure she had snacks, beverages and sweet forehead kisses whenever he passed her.

Best day ever! Best week ever!

Beyond having decided to delay the amendment process, the couple really hadn't discussed what had happened. What was there to say? They were in love, they might be pre-engaged, they had two fun filled sexual encounters and Amy had shown her love through careful decontamination. They were alone.

Until 6pm.

Bernadette pounded on the door, yelling, "Amy, put your clothes on and come over to Penny's! NOW!" her voice wasn't rage filled, but it was commanding, "And Sheldon! Call Leonard. NOW! Wait, set up the WiFi frist!" then the pitter patter of tiny feet was heard stomping across the hallway, followed by a door slam.

"That woman is part wildebeest." Sheldon shook his head, as he obediently typed in the first part of the password that would launch the router, allowing Amy in to punch the second part.

Amy thought for a moment of a way to defend Bernadette, "No. She is more like a bellicose, blond badger." Okay, she hadn't actually defended her friend, she'd just defined her with a greater degree of accuracy. She grabbed her hoodie.

"The fact that I have to call Leonard… Everyone knows." Sheldon made a face.

"Leonard will be supportive. He might be a little smug and gleeful. Just remember, deep down he cares about you a lot. He probably just wants to make sure you are alright." She assured him, popping him on the nose with her finger, "Don't look glum."

"Not glum. Annoyed. We were supposed to have another 36 hours before we have to talk to others, I was hoping to enjoy it." He said. "Go over, before the badger lady comes over to drag you."

He punched in Leonard's number on Skype and instantly the wide face of his friend appeared.

"Hey, buddy…" Leonard grinned, "Having a good week?" he waggled his eyebrows.

Amy entered the apartment without knocking to find herself staring at Penny's giant head on Bernadette's laptop. "Hi, bestie. How's Hawaii?" She asked nonchalantly as she moved toward the sofa. Bernie moved the laptop so Penny could follow her movements.

"Moving kinda slow, huh?" Penny's head bounced with uncontained excitement, as the laptop was set on the coffee table. Bernadette smirked a little.

Throwing her head back against the sofa, "Good, lord!" Amy cried, "Just ask!"

"Did you actually have sex last night?" Bernadette asked, "If so how much, how was it, and what was the Sheldon freak out this morning like?" She bounced in her chair.

"Quit bouncing," Amy ordered, "You'll knock yourself out with those things. The true answer is that all those things are none of your business, but I am sensing that is not the answer that is going to get me out of this apartment." She sighed dramatically, "So, the answers are Yes. One instance of manual/oral stimulation, followed by satisfying penetrative activity. It was wonderful. And the freak out was averted by getting him into the shower as soon as he woke up."

"Genius!" Penny squealed, her head disappeared from the screen as she apparently fell back on the bed, "I AM SO EXICTED FOR YOU GUYS!" She screeched.

Bernadette's hands were in front of her face and her blue eyes were shining with happy tears, "You did it!" She flung herself into Amy's arms, "I am so happy!"

"I am too," Amy said, patting her little friend's back, "I didn't realize it meant that much to you guys…"

"I didn't either," Bernie sniffed, "but it seems as if… I am so happy for you!" she began weeping again. On the other side of the Skype connection, Penny could be heard cheering.

When she returned to the screen, her huge grin and wide crazy eyes, made Amy laugh. "I LOVE YOU GUYS! OF COURSE IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO ME! Bernadette! Get this girl some wine!"

Bernadette chuckled, "And maybe an anti-inflammatory."

"Don't tease me, do you have some?" Amy asked, urgently.

The biologist returned shaking her, "What the hell happened last night?" She handed Amy the wine, before digging into her purse and grabbing out a small baggie filled with three pills, "I took the liberty of putting together a little post virginity loss pill pack. Anti-inflammatory, synthesized cranberry extract and the most advanced sex vitamin ever created."

Penny raised her glass, "Sex vitamin?" she asked.

"Vitamin A, assorted B vitamins, Vitamin C and E?" Amy guessed, "Taken sublingually I presume."

"Of course, or the B-12 wouldn't absorb." Bernadette handed her the baggy, "I take care of my peeps."

Amy popped the two pills, downed them with a sip of wine and put the third under her tongue, "Okay, I actually do have a lot to tell you."

"Yeah, ya do." Penny nodded.

"Actually, the sex is only part of it." Amy smiled, "This week has been amazing. He sort of asked me to marry him."

"WHAT?" Bernadette and Penny screamed in unison. Penny's eyes narrowed, "Sort of?"

"He would like us to spend the next academic year in Switzerland together. He doesn't feel comfortable doing that if we aren't married."

"How romantic." Bernadette said dryly.

Amy missed the sarcasm, "I know! He's been wanting to go for a while now, but he didn't bring it up because he didn't want to take me from my research. I am having some trouble at work, so I may have no choice but to leave. He didn't want to go without me."

"So he didn't propose?" Bernie asked.

"I didn't say he did. Sheldon called it a quasi-proposal and my response a quasi-acceptance." Amy clarified. "Then we went to bed together."

Penny nodded, excitedly leaning into the screen, "Now we are talking!"

"We were just going to go to sleep…" Amy twisted the hem of her hoodie, suddenly shy, "Then I sort of rolled onto his erection…"

Bernadette bit her lip, her eyes wide, "Sort of?"

"I rolled onto his erection." Amy stated, blushing, "To be fair, it was on my side of the bed."

The girls exploded in joyful laughter.

Across the hall, Leonard was handling the questioning more sensitively, "I know this is a huge deal for you."

"It is. But this week just underlined how much we belong together." Sheldon confirmed, then lowered his voice, "I understand why you all go on and on about coitus now, but I don't understand how you could do it with someone who wasn't perfect. What is the point?"

Leonard smiled warmly. Sheldon wondered briefly how much better his life might have been with some like Leonard had been his father. "I am so happy for you two. Really."

"Happy enough to muzzle the others?" Sheldon asked, "They are going to try to make it dirty."

"You had sex. It had to have been a little dirty?" Leonard's warm smile morphed into happy leer.

"It was, but she got me right into the shower as soon as I woke up and then changed the sheets, so it was okay."

"You are a lucky man." Leonard said, smirking happily.

_A/N: As some of you know, I believe this show is more about friendship than geekdom or science. And since Bernadette, Penny and Leonard ship the Shamy as hard as we do, they were the first to know. _


End file.
